Japan, Or: Dear God Where Am I? Part Two

Ok! I know I promised some more Japan, so here we go:

Remember how I left off with Mr. Yucky drawing a picture of my face and then humping it? It gets better.

There also happened to be a large table of Japanese girls, maybe 10 or so, who looked to be 18-25ish.

See those girls in the background?

Well, they picked America as the country that they wanted him to represent. Cool, right?


So, Mr. Yucky went back into his closet and set up a puppet show with a little green frog, who proceeded to tell us about his life in America. Great, wonderful, etc etc. Finally, the little green frog goes: “do you guys want to meet my brother?”

“Yes!” shouts everyone.

“Do you want to meet my brother?”


“His name is Dick! Do you guys want to meet my brother Dick?”

“Yes!” shouts everyone except David and I because we speak English and oh my god this is not going to end well.

The frog, hearing that we don’t respond, turns to me and says, “Carissa, DO YOU WANT TO MEET MY BROTHER DICK??”

To which I say no. Hell no. Everyone else in the room looks at me like I’m a spoilsport, which is short-lived because Mr. Yucky encourages them to start chanting his name.

“Dick! Dick! Dick!” shout the Japanese girls.

And out jumps Mr. Yucky in a giant green frog costume, with the puppet frog placed firmly over his crotch. He leaps at these girls and starts ramming the frog at their heads. They scream and cover their faces as he hops around the room shouting that his name is Dick.

Because America.



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